hell is right-clicking to save an image and accidentally clicking ‘email image’ and having to wait forty years for some email program you didn’t even know existed to rise from its slumber like some lovecraftian ancient god, meanwhile the fans on your laptop are preparing for takeoff and you stare dead-eyed as the rainbow spirals, spirals, spirals. you wait and suffer this cosmic karma. days pass. “just a few more seconds” you slur. your laptop freezes and the concept of time is no longer comprehensible. your family and friends forget your name and you fade from existence.
Needing attention
Outbursts of emotion (especially anger)
Not getting out of bed
Social withdrawal
Self-destructive behaviours
Being ‘clingy’
Forgetting things
Getting upset about everything
Bad self-care
Promiscuity
‘Weird’ or ‘unusual’ triggers
Needing validation
Needing attention – with out constant stimulation from our relationships, we forget we even mean anything to anyone.
Outbursts of emotion (especially anger) – there are 5 intensity levels. at levels 4-5, we become the emotion. it sucks. (source: dialectical behavioral therapy)
Not getting out of bed – with bpd, depression is a reoccurring mood.
Social withdrawal – we are champs at perfecting facades. don’t always have the energy for it though.
Self-destructive behaviours – sometimes needed to escape those 4-5 intensity emotions.
Being ‘clingy’ – fear of abandonment. love addicted. not knowing how else to care about people.
Forgetting things – emotional impermanence. we lose perspective of things we did if its associated with something painful (aka all things, all things are painful).
Getting upset about everything – impossible to see the good in anything unless someone sucked the cognitive dissonance right out of our heads. in other words, splitting–it’s a thing.
Bad self-care– see: depression is a revolving and reoccurring mood.
Promiscuity – see: needing attention because we don’t feel like “real” people.
‘Weird’ or ‘unusual’ triggers – sorry if you hate the word ‘trigger’, but that’s exactly what this is. emotional ptsd. how else would you explain, “oh fuck, that song reminds me of when _____. welp. time to dissociate. haha i’m not here anymore. haha, i don’t feel anything.”??? Needing validation – we want attention to feel like people. we need validation to feel like good people.
WISH I FIGURED THIS SHIT OUT A DECADE AGO.
you’re welcome.
Having a fake personality would be nice too. Just saying.
Quiz time: Would you rather fight a yaoi fetishist who produces/consumes content exclusively of waifish seme/uke character dynamics and makes jokes about being a “filthy sinner for my gayz” or would you rather fight a stringent hetshipper who thinks that making LGBT headcanons about their favs is offensive to them personally and wants to know why, like, you have to make everything about sexuality
Notes:
The yaoi fetishist has a lot of pent up anger. Might pretend you’re the person who wrote them a bad review on ffnet
The hetshipper has an advanced sense of rhythm, having listened to Cascada’s Every Time We Touch over a hundred times when consuming every AMV of their otp in youtube history
punkpixel 