them: u can’t just cut away ppl like that
me: snip snip
Tag: mobile q
conspiracy theorist: *describes capitalism*
conspiracy theorist: it’s communism
the signs ego problems
self-obsessed: aries, leo, scorpio, sagittarius
god complex: AQUARIUS, virgo, capricorn
just wants to be loved: cancer
no ego: pisces
no ego problem: taurus, gemini, libra
Why does Aquarius have to be in all caps like that, tho?????????
anyone who is and isn’t an aquarius fuckin knows why
Jackpot
This is getting kind of ridiculous.
There are two five leaves in there somewhere
I lost count
This is the lucky clover bouquet. Reblog for seven days of good luck!
Y’all laugh but I actually end up doing pretty well once I go to work
In my defense, your honor, I really am the dumbest bitch alive
When my parrot wants pets off someone he’ll go up to them, say hello, and lower his head to expose his neck. Recently, however, he’s been doing this to a pitch black crevice behind the couch, even trying to cajole the darkness with kissy noises and getting sad when the void won’t pet him. How do I explain that dark chasms are not friends?
There’s a ghost in there
consider: teenagers aren’t apathetic about everything they’re just used to you shitting all over whatever they show excitement about
Teen: *gets a job*
“I GOT THE JOB!”
Parents: Well, when I was your age, I already had 5 jobs and was supporting my family
How Obama joked: here is a video of my birth *shows clip from Lion King*
How Trump jokes: haha my vice president wants to kill all the gay people
Hey future historians, please note that although tumblr is a fountain of hyberbolic sarcasm, there is exactly 0% sarcasm or hyperbole in this post.
punkpixel 