Hogwarts freshmen be like: Excuse me, um, ma’am yes I have a question. Um. Don’t only the witches ride the brooms? I mean – I’m not, y’know. I’m just saying.
Hogwarts freshmen 2: [with a lisp] leviosa! I, no, I have – I have a lisp. I can’t really pronounce things. [still with a lisp] Leviosa! I-I’m trying.
Hogwarts freshmen 3: Now you said the bathrooms were three doors down on your right, right? Well there’s a three headed dog in there. I’m not sure if that’s the ladies room or whatev. Why don’t we have maps?
Hogwarts freshmen 4: waitlisted: Are y’all gonna get anymore owls? Because I mean, yeah, see, he’s too tiny and he’s not as fast – he’s not as cool as, you know, the other owls.
Hogwarts freshmen 5: Hi, do y’all have regular skittles? I mean, I bought some yesterday and all of them turned into birds. I just want REGULAR SKITTLES.
Dead people who used the Internet have pieces of their conscious literally uploaded forever. Archives of things they said, thoughts, old logins are there forever.
Kindness is often mistaken for softness and let me tell you, friends….that is a mistake you don’t want to make.
Kind people are not born that way, they do not stumble into it, kind people are forged in fire and darkness and imploding stars…they have steel cores. Throw a punch and you’re going to break your hand.
Start your story with a sentence that is genuinely happy and upbeat, no double meanings. End it with the same sentence, but this time it’s chilling, dark, horrifying etc.
It was a #BlackLivesMatter march because a man who spent his entire campaign being racist towards black people is now in the most powerful position in the world
It was a #JusticeForMuslims march because a man who praised the idea of shooting Muslims with bullets dipped in pigs blood
is now in the most powerful position in the world
It was a march for Jews who are now fearing for their lives because of the antisemitism people Trump has appointed in his cabinet
It was a march for disabled people who witnessed their neighbours walk down to the voting stations and choose a man who mocked them in the cruelest of ways
It was a march for women who don’t have pussies to be grabbed because they are women as well and they matter as well and they can be victims of sexual assault as well and their voices should be heard as well
It was a march for the 8 transgender kids who killed themselves days within the election results because they were so scared for their futures
It was a march for the LGBTQ+ community who now have to see a man who thinks they should be electrocuted for who they love be called the Vice President
It was a march for Immigrants who make society better and brighter and deserve to be in America just as much as any other citizen but are now scared they will be deported at any given time
If you were marching for Women you should be marching for all of the minorities that Trump’s Presidency will affect. #IntersectionalFeminism is the Only Feminism
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