If your fic is 1000 words long, you can’t tag it slow burn. It’s not slow burn. That is a matchstick. And this is my personal bias here but if those motherfuckers you’re writing experience significant forward momentum in their relationship in under 5k words, then that is just a regular old burn. Slow burn should be borderline intolerable and a mistake to start reading at 2 in the morning.
If the fic doesn’t have multiple scenes where two people almost kiss but then don’t because of a contrived interruption that they are both grateful for and angry about, until the desperate reader is forced every other paragraph to mutter, “this is fucking ridiculous, this is bullshit, I’m so fucking mad, please update sooooooooooon,” then it isn’t a slow burn. It is a romance and that is a lovely thing but. Slow burns should feel like being set on fire unto your death but the tinder is people not kissing and the spark is people who don’t admit they love each other and the whole thing is. You know. Slow.
CORRECT
I once read a slow burn where the main pairing didn’t even speak to each other ontil 80k words in
This is the funniest fucking thing I’ve ever read and the only true slow burn fic
once a lady told me that if my plants are dying even when I’m caring for them correctly, it means they’re absorbing the curses my enemies are casting upon me. so now when my plants randomly die, I wonder if they died protecting me.
god fuckin nerfed me by giving me depression and the moment my brain starts making dopamine again im going to climb my way to heaven and kick his fuckin ass
the chaotic energy in this post is on par with that one dril tweet
that’s because unlike dril i intend to keep my promises
punkpixel 